Tobaeus

“Welcome to the family.” That should have been Julia’s first red flag. No business that called itself a family turned out to be a good one. But the job paid well and she needed work, so she smiled and shook the interviewer’s hand. It was hot and felt like wax. That should have been her second red flag. When she stepped off the elevator on her first day, all her coworkers rushed up to greet her. “We’re so happy to have you on the team!” “Come see your desk. It’s in a great spot.” “Do you like fruit? We got you a gift basket.” Julie’s new coworkers whisked her to her new desk. They hadn’t lied. The desk was in a good spot, near the bathroom and the breakroom. Her desk was dominated by the biggest fruit basket she had ever seen in her life, festooned with ribbons that said “Welcome!” in big, friendly letters. The rest of her shift was spent learning names, trading phone numbers and social media contacts, and touring everyone else’s

“And finished.” Grandmother closed up the book and put her pen down on the desk. “Thirty-one stories in thirty-one days.” Lilibet peered over the edge of the desk in wonder. “Wow, Grandma. What are you going to do with them?” She tied it with a ribbon smiled at Lilibet. “I’m taking them straight to the trash.” “What? No!” Lilibet followed her grandmother as she carried the book to the trash can. She smiled, but did not look at Lilibet. “Not the trash, you say? How about the fire? All terrible stories should have a chance to be useful, I suppose.” Now Lilibet was hopping up and down. “Not there either, Grandmother!” “All right, then. What do you think we should do with them?” “We have to read them, of course! Come sit down.” Her grandmother followed, smiling the entire time. “Why should we read them, dear?” “Because,” Lilibet said as she reached for the ribbon, “stories are supposed to be read. You can’t judge a story until

He was a confectioner by trade. Not some puzzle solving adventurer type. There was no reason for the queen to send him here. But when she sends for you, you can hardly say no, not if you value your neck. The scholar dumped her armload of scrolls on the cave floor. “Let me see what I can find in here,” she murmured as she sifted through the pile. “This place is a much better documented than one would think, considering how musty this place is.” “And how few people have actually heard of it,” the confectioner said. “Remind me why the queen didn’t send for someone more suited for this task? I would hardly think making candy would coax the river out.” She bent down and sifted through more scrolls. She unrolled one, revealing a family lineage. He recognized his own name scrawled at the bottom. “Here,” she said, pointing at someone nearly six generations back. “You have a relative who helped construct the mechanism. Maybe the story was passed down to you?” He

“Come, Bartleby. You really must see this!” Bartleby struggled under the weight of the pack the Professor had made him carry. The thick clothes and heavy coat he had to wear for the weather made it nearly impossible to settle the pack comfortably. Every time he managed to get it up to a comfortable place, it slid right back down midway between his shoulders and his elbows. “What in the world will we possibly see in a place like this, Professor?” The Professor laughed. “Ah, that’s just the thing, my boy. We won’t! But at the same time, we already have.” He was making less sense than usual. Bartleby wondered if he was addled from exhaustion. There was a chance, though, that the Professor was just being himself. “But how is that possible?” “Come up here and I’ll show you.” Bartleby nearly stumbled and fell on his face when the Professor offered him a helping hand, but he recovered and they found themselves standing atop a rather round hill.

Never had there been such a battle on the open sea. Captain Littletree laughed as the salt spray washed over him. “Fire again, then come about, Mister Driscol,” Littletree called. “Aye aye, Captain!” The boom of the cannonballs sang out against the wind. As they scored a hit, the crew cheered. The other ship, with Captain Littletree’s hated rival, Captain Longtooth, returned fire. A cannonball tore through the mainsail and sped off into the distance. “Do you think a little tear will stop me, you blaggard?” He waved his saber and ordered another volley. Return fire from the opposing ship rocked the deck. Littletree clung to the wheel for dear life. His first mate was not so lucky. Captain Littletree watched in helpless horror as Mister Driscol was tossed overboard by the furious tilt of the ship. “No!” “Okay, Rowan. It’s time to go.” “Not yet, Mommy. I have to save Mister Driscol.” Rowan’s mom waded into the

Of all the things I expected to see on my morning walk, a screaming merchant high-tailing it down the road screaming about demonic pudding wasn’t one of them. A quick sniff led me to a sack of pudding spilled on the ground and a tiny creature flailing around just outside of it. I tried to think of what could be that small and move like a human, and the list was short. Worst case scenario, it was an irate fairy who would blame me for its predicament and zap my nose or something. A quick taste of the decent pudding revealed the face of a little boy. A very little boy. “What were you doing in that pudding?” The boy scraped at the pudding on his clothes. “I just wanted to see,” he said. “Do you think Mother will be terribly mad at me?” I crouched down so he could climb up on my neck. “In my experience, human mothers tend to be very forgiving. She’ll probably just be glad you’re okay.” He hopped off when we got to his house and I went on my way. A

Tenderheart burst into the Hall of Caring, telescope still in his hand. “We have a problem down on Earth,” he said. “Aw, there’s always a problem down on Earth,” said Grumpy Bear. “What is it this time?” He pointed toward the door. “It’s a little girl named Donna. She’s trying to make friends with people she doesn’t know on the internet.” Friendship Bear put down her tray of cupcakes. “That doesn’t sound very safe. Maybe I can help.” “I was thinking the same thing. We should get Brightheart Raccoon on the way.” * * * Meanwhile, on Earth, Donna sat at her computer desk, typing into a chatroom while she streamed her favorite painter on a video site. You’re really awesome, LuckyDuck229 typed. I’d love to keep in touch. Do you have an email address? Donna frowned. My mom told me never to give out my information online. The cursor on her screen

The astronauts stared through the viewport as lights began going out all over the planet. Then something sparked into life on the surface, ballooned out, and disappeared. At the back of the capsule, Jerry slowly pulled his hands away from the console and held them up in surrender. “So, uh, do you think anyone noticed?”

Andra put the last few stitches on her latest creation. “And here you are, you’re ladyship.” The little girl reached out for the stuffed rabbit in a tiara and hugged it close.”She’s so soft!” “She’s soft because she’s filled with love,” Andra said. “She’ll listen to all your hopes and dreams and secrets and she will guard them well. The parents paid Andra the agreed upon price and left with their daughter in tow. Behind her, a stuffed unicorn in silver armor stepped out of the shadows. Andra smiled and pulled out a notebook. “What news from the palace?”

Gimbol could tell the neighbors were mad by the way they said, “Gimbol, you’ve really done it now. We’re very mad at you!” They all stood in a crowd outside of his house. But they didn’t stand too close, because for some reason a series of oblong pits had appeared in the neighborhood, and two of them were right outside his door. “But what did I do?” Gimbol cupped his hands around his mouth so they could hear him better. “We don’t know. But these holes lead right up to your house, so you had to have done something.” Riggy in the back shook his fist. “Those holes ruined my garden!” “What will we eat now?” Gilly wiped her face with her apron. “My beloved Gobert fell into one of those holes and I haven’t seen him since.” From one of the nearby holes, they all heard, “Gilly, when will lunch be ready?” Gilly sobbed into her apron. Gimbol scratched his head. “I don’t know if I could find enough dirt to fill in these holes. Even if I

Annie put her hand down on solid packed dirt. Weird. She backed up, but the familiar plastic of the Burger Basket’s Play Emporium was gone. And on top of that, it was dark. She felt along the side of this new tunnel and found it was just big enough for her to stand up. The panic started welling up in her chest, but she held her breath to keep it from getting out. Somebody was probably playing a very dumb trick on her. She just had to figure out where they were, and then she could make them pay. The tunnel curved in a way that the Play Emporium’s tunnels never had, and it was way too quiet for a Friday afternoon. Where was she? A distant rumbling further down the tunnel stopped her exploration. Was someone coming? Would they be nice? She didn’t think anyone in a place like this could be nice, so she pressed herself up against the side of the tunnel and hoped that whoever was coming couldn’t see in the dark. A soft glow illuminated the far end of the tunnel.

Madeline rubbed the bridge of her nose before regarding the robed figure seated on the other side of her desk. He was far too cheery for a nine-thirty appointment. But here he was, and no matter how ridiculous this all seemed, she had been told to hear him out and pass his ideas along. “So let me get this straight, Mister...?” “Master Osvaldo, Overlord of Life and Death.” He ended with a flourish. “At your service.” She was not going to say all that every time she addressed him. “Mister Osvaldo. My superiors have asked me to speak with you about your... unique proposal.” She shuffled through the papers they had thrust on her before the meeting. “You claim you can drastically lower our costs for terraforming while also creating an-- as you put it-- ‘eco-friendly way to dispose of the dead?’” “Exactly right. I can see your company has made a wise decision in asking you to handle this matter, Mz. Strong. Once you see the plans I know you’ll be just as excited as I am” “I’m sure.” She

She didn’t know what she was expecting when she walked into the detective’s office, but this definitely wasn’t it. Upon sight of the figure seated at the desk she stopped cold and stared, hoping that any moment now the real detective would jump out of the closet and shout “Gotcha!” When the thing opened its jaw and spoke to her, she was glad no one was around to hear her shriek. “S’matter, toots? Cat got your tongue?” “I’m sorry.” She racked her brains for some kind of explanation that wouldn’t come across as rude, but her vocabulary had fled in the initial shock. “I just. I’ve never. I--” “You weren’t expecting a dead guy to be at the desk.” He-- or at least, she thought it might be a he by the voice-- lit a cigarette and took a long drag. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.” Before she could embarrass herself any further, the detective blew out an impressive smoke ring for someone who didn’t have lips. “So. Down to business. What brings you to my office today? You need me to