A Letter to My Evil Twin

    Dear Miranda,


    My therapist is making me write this letter to you. He says it will help me find closure, that it will help me move on with my life.

    In this letter, I'm supposed to forgive you for stealing my prom date. We're identical twins, how was he supposed to know it wasn't really me? I'm supposed to say it's all right that you got me thrown out of college for that time you streaked across campus and set fire to the football field. It's supposed to be no big deal that you went to my interview at the firm and landed the job (even though you have no experience on that side of the legal system), leaving me to work two fast food jobs to cover my bills and pay both our taxes.

    My therapist thinks you're not real, that you're a facet of my "split personality", whatever that means. I'd show him the birth certificates, but I can't afford to pay for them. God only knows where Mom is these days. She could have backed me up.

    No. This is not a letter of forgiveness. It's a warning. It's a head start. By the time you get this letter, I'll be on my way to your penthouse apartment to take my revenge on you. And when I'm done, I'll drag your dying body back to my therapist's office and show him that none of those things you've done were actually me.

    I know they'll send me to prison for it, but I don't care. At least it will be for something I actually did. Best of luck to you. I should be in the elevator by now. Where are you?

    Sincerely,
Your not-so-good (any more) twin, Amanda