House Haunting

     "I dunno. Look at this paint. There's water condensing on it. Who wants a house where water builds up on the walls?"

     "Honey, it's okay. When people go looking for houses, they say that one like this has character. Their inherent need to fix things will bring them here in droves."

     Penelope shook her head. "Look at this decor. I mean, really! Orange and blue paint. It's so tacky!"

     Mortimer smiled at her. "More character, that's all it is. And just think, anyone who moves in here and tries to paint over it, we just melt it away, and they're left looking at this paint job all over again. Wasted effort and no explanation for it." He chuckled. "It should drive them absolutely bonkers."

     He had a point. Humans were always falling in love with old, ugly houses. Perhaps it was their desire to connect with history, or to make real, physical changes in the world around them. She stuck her head through the wall and pretended she could feel the water droplets on her face.

     "Oh, Mortimer. Would you look at these pipes?" She took one in her hand and gave it an experimental shake. The sound they gave off left her confident that the sound could be heard all over the house.

     Mortimer was in the hall when she came out. "Listen to these floorboards." He put a foot down and the creak that step made sent shivers up her incorporeal spine.

     The agent smiled and guided them to the kitchen. "The wiring is faulty, and the gas lines are known to have flare-ups from time to time." She pulled them in close and spoke in hushed tones, though this was only for effect. They were the only ones in the house at the time. "Rumor has it, this place was built on an Indian burial ground."

     Penelope gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth. More affectation, but some habits died hard. Literally. "Really?"

     "It's all rumor, of course, but you're free to investigate if you decide to make the place your own. If it were true, it would be well worth putting up with a little ugly paint, wouldn't you agree?"

     She looked over to Mortimer. "This place does look big enough for a family."

     Mortimer chuckled and took Penelope's hand in his own. "You always have had a soft spot for children. We'll take it."

     "Excellent." The agent flashed them a salesman's smile and led them out the front door. "Follow me, and we'll draw up the paperwork."

     As they climbed the stairs, they heard approaching footsteps, and the opening of a door. Voices floated up to them as they went up into the attic. "Look at this place, honey! It's got so much character, don't you think?"