"What have you done?"
"The juices on your planet are delectable," he said, as though he hadn't heard her. She looked around her kitchen. There was blood and fur everywhere, and were those bits of bone?
"You ruined my juicer!"
He gave the appliance a dirty look. "Yes. You should probably go and purchase one of higher quality."
She was afraid to ask, but morbid curiosity took over. "What did you use?"
"I believe you call them 'squirrels'. Tomorrow I shall catch the avian you call a 'bluejay'. If it tastes half as good as the squirrel I believe I shall stay here for a long time."
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Author's Comments
I don't think I could ever develop this into an entire story, but I think the clip is fun to read.
EDIT: Oh, my God. A DD? I about fell out of my chair when I saw my message box. Um, where to start? I'd like to thank the acadamy, and the fans, because without you none of this would be possible, something about Jesus. Ah, screw it. I'm gonna take this time to shamelessly plug The Writers Slam [link] If you haven't heard of it, it's a weekly podcast for literature. They need writers and they need readers. Thank you so much, guys!  Daily DeviationGiven 2009-02-26I could not stop laughing after I read The Culinary Tastes of Aliens by *Tobaeus. It is very cleverly executed and despite its brevity, such lines as 'The juices on your planet are delectable,' just really remind us that all these aliens want is to get a good old fashioned taste of earthly life, and possibly some delicious home cooking! (Suggested by =AGMeade and Featured by ^LadyLincoln) Comments Instafave. ♥
Thanks.^_^
 hahaha oh my god.
this is a perfect combination of genius, humor and annoying things that inhabit my backyard. love it. Thank you. ^_^
no problem! (:
 hahaha xD !
cooooool  ! -- This could be the end of everything. So why don't we go, somewhere only we know, Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know.  I was captured instantly!
-- I was angry with my friend, I told my wrath, My wrath did end. I was angry with my foe, I told it not, My wrath did grow.  Outstanding. Simply outstanding.
-- It's our godforsaken right to be loved, loved, loved. Senza il pane tutto diventa orfano.  WTF?
 I'm afraid to ask what the alien looks like... -- -I'll tell ya what: I will let you go...in exchange for your daughter. -You so much as touch her and I will make your life not worth living. Dong Zhuo vs. Akechi Mitsuhide - Warriors Orochi 2  I already love the alien. xD
-- Get the hell out of my room, oh, and don't let the doorknob sodomize you on the way out. |
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The Deviousness Award is an accolade which is traditionally handed out on the 1st of every month to one trully outstanding deviant. `Cyantre is one of the most helpful deviants within our community. With a positive attitude and a resourceful mind, you can always find him providing support and encouragement to those in need. Always looking for ways in which he can get more involved in our community, John's positive presence is to be aspired to. A well respected poet, John is a must-have on your deviantWATCH to make sure that you don't miss out on your dose of community inspiration. It's with great pleasure that the Deviousness Award for November 2009 goes to... Read More
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