ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
February 26, 2009
I could not stop laughing after I read The Culinary Tastes of Aliens by *Tobaeus. It is very cleverly executed and despite its brevity, such lines as 'The juices on your planet are delectable,' just really remind us that all these aliens want is to get a good old fashioned taste of earthly life, and possibly some delicious home cooking!
Featured by LadyLincoln
Suggested by AGMeade
Literature Text
"What have you done?"
"The juices on your planet are delectable," he said, as though he hadn't heard her. She looked around her kitchen. There was blood and fur everywhere, and were those bits of bone?
"You ruined my juicer!"
He gave the appliance a dirty look. "Yes. You should probably go and purchase one of higher quality."
She was afraid to ask, but morbid curiosity took over. "What did you use?"
"I believe you call them 'squirrels'. Tomorrow I shall catch the avian you call a 'bluejay'. If it tastes half as good as the squirrel I believe I shall stay here for a long time."
"The juices on your planet are delectable," he said, as though he hadn't heard her. She looked around her kitchen. There was blood and fur everywhere, and were those bits of bone?
"You ruined my juicer!"
He gave the appliance a dirty look. "Yes. You should probably go and purchase one of higher quality."
She was afraid to ask, but morbid curiosity took over. "What did you use?"
"I believe you call them 'squirrels'. Tomorrow I shall catch the avian you call a 'bluejay'. If it tastes half as good as the squirrel I believe I shall stay here for a long time."
Literature
Who Cares About...?
WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR MISTRESS' EYES?
(A Rebuttal to Shakespeare's Sonnet CXXX)
Why should it matter in the least if her
Lips are coral red or pale pink?
If suntanned breasts are worrying you, sir,
You need your head examined, one would think.
And you honestly believe her cheeks and hair
Detract because they differ from the norm?
I doubt you'd find another who would care;
For as they are, they are indeed well-formed.
As to her breath and voice, I will concede
That reeks and rasps as adjectives fit well;
But Listerine will satisfy her need,
And huskiness in speech, a flaw? Do tell!
You love her, faults and all, or so you've said—
Literature
quacking jokes
three ducks explode
into laughter:
private joke
Literature
Notice of Intent to Stalk
Form ITS1993(d)
Notice of Intent to Stalk
Date: ___________
Print or type name of Stalker: _____________________________
(known henceforth as STALKER)
Print or type name of person to be Stalked: __________________________
(known henceforth as STALKEE)
Please be notified that effective this date the above named STALKER has filed an official Intent To Stalk Declaration targeting the above named STALKEE in accordance with Obsessive/Compulsive Personal Pursuit Code of Conduct Act of 1993 (OCPPCCA93).
I, STALKER, hereby declare Open Season upon you, STALKEE, and pursuant to OCPPCCA93 section 1, paragraph 5 intend to engage in the following
Suggested Collections
I don't think I could ever develop this into an entire story, but I think the clip is fun to read.
EDIT: Oh, my God. A DD? I about fell out of my chair when I saw my message box. Um, where to start? I'd like to thank the acadamy, and the fans, because without you none of this would be possible, something about Jesus. Ah, screw it. I'm gonna take this time to shamelessly plug The Writers Slam [link] If you haven't heard of it, it's a weekly podcast for literature. They need writers and they need readers.
Thank you so much, guys!
EDIT: Oh, my God. A DD? I about fell out of my chair when I saw my message box. Um, where to start? I'd like to thank the acadamy, and the fans, because without you none of this would be possible, something about Jesus. Ah, screw it. I'm gonna take this time to shamelessly plug The Writers Slam [link] If you haven't heard of it, it's a weekly podcast for literature. They need writers and they need readers.
Thank you so much, guys!
© 2008 - 2024 Tobaeus
Comments135
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactApparently this is one of the most popular sci-fi stories of all time on dA, and I can see why: it is short enough that anyone can read it and it is funny. I do think that the story could have been fleshed out into something more ambitious but I am dismayed by the reality that such an effort would not have been as rewarding from a popularity standpoint as posting something half baked.
Vision ** - As a writer you have to challenge yourself so that you can reach your full potential. Wallowing in mediocrity will get you nowhere in the long run. If you decide to write a longer version of this story at some point then do let me know and I will give it a read.
Originality *** - You clearly came up with this on your own but it's no Mona Lisa.
Technique *** - no spelling or grammatical errors but you should have gone for a longer word count.
Impact **** - as much as I am appalled that something like this could be chosen as a DD while more deserving deviations go unnoticed I do have to admit that it was funny and entertaining <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>